Miracles (18)
Leap of Faith when the vision is blurred
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Miracles
Time and again, I have witnessed miracles of all kinds. Everyone gets a share of the divine help that's difficult to fathom in this realm.
While helping, when I was a kid, my mum didn't miss reiterating, Ask Allah first, even if that's for shoestring.
That got me into a habit of asking for a little dua day-to-day. But only when I stepped out as a young adult experiencing life, particularly a difficult phase, did I find solace in dua.
It was a seed planted when I was small that harvested in much need comfort.
My relationship with Dua grew to be unconditional. It often was considered unrealistic or a denial of reality by many. Irrespective, it grew to be stronger and more beautiful.
The test of my unconditional trust in asking Al-Wali1 began after my mum's passing. It left me with the thoughts to calibre my asking and keep it in tune with reality. I started weaving my dua around the possibilities my bare eye could see while battling the poignant sense of distance I felt with my Confidant, Al-Wali.
Even the people I would reach out to for help had life happening to them. For the first time, I was on the verge of losing hope. In the midst of it, one of my sisters shared that if we haven't asked in Tahajjud, we can't say we have done all we could.
I didn't get to pray Fajr2 for months, so Tahajjud3 seemed a tall order.
Like in the dark, we take the familiar path to reach the lamp, I head to the familiar place - Musallah. I managed Tahajjud once or twice a week with my calculated duas.
Isn't it, '...Walk towards Me, I'll run towards you.'
It occurred to me that the element missing in the equation of my faith was 'me'. Al-Hadi was there alongside me, guiding me to where I was meant to be. Irrelevant is to gauge and limit Dua to Al-Qadeer4.
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I lost my Bougainvillea to the unusually low temperature in the past winter. I scratched the lower stem hoping to discover green underneath, but sadly it didn't make it. I was uprooting it to get the planter ready for something else and found something.
I found a sycamore - sycamore with a seedling emerging.
I wasn't expecting to turn a new leaf here, but this is how Al-Lateef5 assure us that He is closer than our jugular vein.
This is how my faith restored my faith.
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Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “Indeed, the faith of one of you will diminish just as a garment becomes worn out. So, ask Allah to renew faith in your hearts.”
Restoring faith doesn’t mean that life is devoid of moments where we look for sunshine amidst an outpour of challenges.
I have learned that life’s order is rain or shine, but a stitch in time is as important as the struggle to find a balance between a pit stop and coming to a complete halt.
The last two weeks were particularly challenging.
I worked my head off on the lengthiest assignment of my last module only to find out the results had been delayed due to some system error.
I completed a story, but in the end, it turned out to be underbaked with a soggy bottom that Prue & Paul would refuse to taste test.
I volunteered at school for a day and observed that my little one, whom I call ‘Ronaq’ (lively), was rather quiet. So, I decided to volunteer for almost the whole week. I came back home feeling miserable and wondering what was broken.
I extensively planned to add storage to my older one’s desk, but I ended up having the whole house in the mayhem. My sanity's shelf life was reduced by the constant clutter around me, so I decided to get on with that.
I’m still looking for the sunshine in the outpour but can now spot a rainbow.
Let’s have Heart to Heart!
How has your relationship with prayer or dua evolved? Have there been any particular moments or phases in your life that deepened your faith?
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Al- Wali : Helper and Friend.
Fajr: First obligatory prayer.
Tahajjud: Voluntary prayers before the first obligatory prayer.
Al Qadeer: Powerful.
Al-Lateef: Subtle.
This is so beautiful, Masha’Allah! Heartwarming and heartfelt! Very relatable! JazakAllahu Khairan Katheeran for penning your thoughts so beautifully. May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala bless you with barakah in your Rizq, Aameen.